According to Gottman, “In marriage, couples are always making “bids” for each others attention, affection, humor, or support”. Essentially making “bids” means you are reaching out to your partner in order to connect. Bids happen every day, and can be large or small. Bids are evidence of turning toward your partner which is [...]
As simple as it may sound, happily married couples like each other. Happy partners maintain respect for each other even during disagreements and remind themselves of the positive qualities about their partner. Although liking your partner sounds easy, couples often find themselves stuck in feelings of contempt or even disgust when it comes [...]
The first principle of Gottman’s Couples therapy is called Building Love Maps. For instance, do you know the names of your partner’s friends? What about your their favorite tv show? If you had to order them ice cream, do you know what flavor they would like? ‘Love Maps’ are the intimate details and [...]
According to John Gottman, “What can make a marriage work is surprisingly simple. Happily married couples aren’t smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their [...]
Often when we talk with someone, we are keen to convince them of something or have them “see the light” and change their perspective. It seems like the current political and health discussions are very polarizing and causing great discord between people who are grounded in opposing camps but when is it okay [...]