Throughout this blog series, we have been reviewing the principles that make marriage work as theorized by John Gottman. If you have accomplished the first six principles, more than likely you have a happy and stable marriage. As a reminder, those first six principles are: Building Love Maps, Nurturing Your Fondness and Admiration, Turning Toward Your Partner, Let Your Partner Influence You, Solving Your Solvable Problems, Overcoming Gridlock.
The final principle in the series is Creating Shared Meaning. In other words, this involves both partners meshing together their own life philosophies and honoring each other’s dreams. Gottman states, “The more you can agree about the fundamentals of life, the richer, more profound, and in a sense, easier your marriage is likely to be.” Therefore, in order to encourage honesty within your relationship, there must be a welcoming atmosphere. Do you think you are open to your partner’s perspective?
There are four pillars to creating shared meaning:
Exploring deeper meaning within your relationship is a lifelong process. As you and your partner grow and change, so will your values and goals. Above all, the key is to be open to your partner’s beliefs so that the two of you can create a joyful life together.
As we wrap up this series, I hope you have taken away some new knowledge and tools that can apply to your relationship. Every day you can build the change you want to see in your marriage. In conclusion, just remember, “No book or therapist can solve all of your marital problems. However, learning the Seven Principles really can change the course of your relationship.”
Alison Bellows Cearlock was a Graduate Student Intern with the Mindly Group studying Mental Health Counseling.
